I think my thoughts are at their most fluid when I'm NO where near a pen and paper (in the car)! So here I am sharing this right after work with quick eagerness as the words jump over themselves in my mind faster than I can type them out, lest they escape me entirely:
When it comes to Sacred Energizing Xpression (which is something I think about a lot) I think that the practice should be valued much more than it is by people in general. I wish more people understood how beautiful and fulfilling such an experience can be; such a powerful form of non-verbal expression between two people. I think we devalue the practice when we are so willing to freely commit our bodies without also sharing ourselves mentally, as well as our hearts.
But just why are We the People so willing to share our bodies yet so stingy when it comes to anything more?? Well, from my perspective I think many of us, particularly young people, are in a self-centered state when we do this. Sex is perceived as an opportunity to get rather than to give. Sex is understood to be pleasurable, so naturally we're on the prowl for the benefit. In contrast, when it comes to sharing or opening our hearts to another human being, many of us don't see the benefit. What we see is sacrifice and pain, and who wants that right? Our fear is greater than our faith. I get it.
With that being said (and from my own experience), sex is so much more pleasurable and beneficial when you share it all. In my opinion, it's either all or nothing. Some people possess the ability to compartmentalize themselves. I do not hold these boundaries. It's all a big love soup for me - body, mind, and heart - it's a packaged deal.
It's funny, but I've envisioned that for some, the process of sharing your heart has become like a game of double dutch. If you've ever watched a little girl jump double dutch, you remember how she kinda bounces back & forth readying herself for the opportunity to jump into the ropes?? That's how people are in contemplating sharing their hearts (and dating in general), except the extremely fearful, insecure, fickle ones never jump in; fear keeps them forever bouncing back & forth. They can spot opportunities as great as the day is long to jump right in, but fear paralyzes them.
One experience with a guy in which there was mutual interest sticks out in my mind. In the beginning of the game he was the perfect gentleman; funny, charming, passionate, emotional intensity. I thoroughly enjoyed his pursuit of me and his deep, probing questions about myself (which I took as his "bouncing back & forth" to see whether he wanted to jump in). But right as I anticipated that he would take that opportunity to jump in with me, he choked up. I later found out, unbeknownst to me at the time, I did something that triggered an unhealed wound related to a prior relationship. My action reminded him of what led to heartbreak by an ex-girlfriend.
Why can't we simply be honest with each other and just say "look I'm just SCARED - I was SO deeply disappointed by the abuse/miscommunication/fill in the blank during my last relationship that the only thing I think I can risk sharing right now is my body?"
In order to keep from taking things personal, I remind myself that there are lots of people on the scene (who really ought NOT be), walking around here with unresolved wounds and don't know how to heal themselves from past disappointment or from perceived and/or real abuse and neglect. They WANT to share their hearts, they WANT love and perhaps monogamy but their fear is greater than their faith in any perceived benefits. So instead they rap MC Breed/Tupac "I gotta get mine, you gotta get yours." It's certainly understandable why a hopeful person would also turn rogue and place their heart on the shelf with enough repeated exposure to these individuals.
But I just simply think that with great reward comes great risk. I just don't believe in doing anything half-hearted. When it comes to sex, you should go ALL way (no pun intended. Well, maybe). I'd like to entice everyone but particularly challenge the menfolk's notion of courage in Western civilization to discontinue this simple-minded objective to pursue and penetrate a woman's body - actually grow the BALLS to allow yourself to be penetrated by her, fully in mind and in heart. I think when two people are willing to lend their bodies, their minds AND their hearts to sexual expression it can be so much more fulfilling, creative, enduring and healing.
Before I end this post I must say that my thoughts are strictly focused on sharing your all with someone in the pursuit of and during sex. This isn't a discussion for or against monogamy, marriage, moral/religious beliefs etc. However, I DO want to encourage everyone: please please PLEASE practice RESPONSIBLE, SAFE Sacred Energizing Xpression regardless of your personal situation.
